One thing I regret about my time at BYU is not taking advantage of the weekly devotionals. Granted, that hour on Tuesday was often my only break during the day, especially when I was performing. I needed that time to fit in some homework and get my head above water.
And though sometimes I feel like I'm haunting campus and need to graduate pronto, I'm secretly thrilled I have one more year to get things right, like truly doing my homework, waking up on time for class, packing lunches and a water bottle, and attending more devotionals.
Now some of you might've noticed (all 5 of you, haha) that I haven't posted in a while. Let me tell you why, then let me tell you why I love devotionals.
I have been slightly depressed about blogs. I know it's stupid, but I'm human. Not only human, but a girl too. Everyone seems to have such wonderful blogs with beautiful lives. Mind you, I love those blogs, they are stunning and inspiring! But too often I found myself comparing others' strengths to my own weaknesses (curse that extra X chromosome). Writing doesn't give me joy like it does others - I don't have awesome fashion and style - my apartment isn't perfectly decorated - and I definitely don't have any recipes to share.
These feelings are part of the reason I have been absent from my blog. I avoided blogging to stifle my feelings of lameness.
But then I attended Tuesday's devotional. Elder Anderson gave the most wonderful talk about honesty. I realized that part of being honest is being completely true to myself. I had a strong feeling that the only way I was going to become the truest, most complete version of Katie Peacock was to be uncompromisingly honest.
I was then reminded of Pres. Samuelson's devotional address the week before. He talked about perfectionism and what a downfall it is.
And then it all clicked :) Get over yourself and just be yourself. It's pointless to be the fashionista or clever writer or photographer or graphic designer if that's not who you are. Stop worrying about being perfect and start finding yourself.
I might not be the most creative blogger, but I have a husband who loves me, a family I adore, the best friends in the world, and I get to walk to school everyday. There is no one else in the world like me. Oh ya, and I just landed my first medical school interview. Life is good :)
7 comments:
Way to go on the Med school interview! You are awesome Katie. I'm glad you posted this because I've always thought of you as someone who just has it all, it's kind of funny how you only see others talents and compare them with your flaws. I've always done that with you. You've always been so smart and athletic and beautiful and I've always been jealous. I like reading your blog, so I'm glad you're back :)
Definitely something I will never do. Congratulations. It's true-those devotionals are awesome. I don't blog a lot for the same reason. I'm like-who cares to read what I write? I think I like reading more. You're great dear. Maybe I'll start blogging more too.
K i dont even know you that well, katie, but i feel like i kind of know you, and if even YOU feel like that, then I feel better because I think the same things all the time about others (even you!) and blogging etc. But i think you're AMAZING!! You've got it together and I'm so glad you shared this because I needed those reminders to not compare, etc. We each have been given different gifts and talents. Thanks for sharing! And congrats on the interview!
Dear Katie,
I used to feel the same way about blogging. However, I realized that blogs, although others may read them and find joy in our view and honesty, are for the writer not the reader. My blog is like my journal--and therefore it is for me. I may not have an eloquent style of writing or even awesome experiences to write about but what I write I write for me. If others read it--cool. If not, that's fine. It's not for them anyway.
I love the real Katie and have always looked up to you. You will be an amazing doctor. Perhaps one day I'll work for you. Katie peacock M.D. and Lauta Collins R.N. Sounds good to me.
This makes me feel so good inside and I definitely needed this. Thanks. I feel the same all the time and I look at everyone's lives through their blogs and just see all of my lameness. I'm not witty, I don't take good pictures, and I don't have much style like I see in everyone else. Thanks for this message from the devotionals! You are amazing Katie and congratulations on the interview!
You're the best! I love you lots chica. Great post...so very true on so many levels.
And congrats on the interview!!!
Katie we all feel that way. I have had to stop blogging so many times because I feel so lame in comparison to others. But I realized that the people I love read my blog and that I only care if they do. I get to keep a journal online and go back and remember the feelings I had. I have to admit though, it makes me feel a little better that Katie Peacock feels that way too, because you have always done everything a step above everyone else. I guess we are all just human and have to do exactly what you suggest - Get over ourselves and just be ourselves. I love that.
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